My day – kind of follows this notion… Started off crappy – ended up happy.
Those are how many of my days go as a teacher. Especially a teacher at an urban, inner-city school. Students in many inner-city schools do not have the privledges that I was fortunate enough to have growing up.
Many come from broken homes.
Where there is a single parent.. working many jobs -just to pay rent.
In my school, over 95% of the students receive free or reduced priced lunch. These kids do not live easy lives. But they are so young – and so innocent. They really have no control over the hand that they have been dealt.
From broken homes, often come broken children. Children who – try as they may — just can’t seem to overcome their situation. I deal with parents who want NOTHING more then success for their children – for the opportunity to get out of their current situation – graduate high school; go to college; get a good job.
For many inner city students – this does not end up being the case. I have students who hear gunshots outside of their windows when they are sleeping at night… who don’t get enough sleep because of the sirens – or the yelling from next door.
Granted – I am not speaking for every student in my school – but I do know that the life they live – is much tougher then it should be. These 8 year olds know way to much about things I did not hear of until I was a teenager.
It can be depressing. It can be heartbreaking. It can really drain a person. I have always been the one who wants to play the savior. I want NOTHING more then for each and everyone of my children to be successful – and I know they are all capable of beating the streets that they live on. I want to help steer them towards their destiny -towards the road of opportunity.
And I do all that I can in the classroom – to make this a reality. But that is ALL I have control over … What happens in the classroom. And sometimes, that is hard to accept. Because I am starting to realize – that I am not here to save each of these students.. that is not my role.
I am a teacher.
I am a support… sometimes I play the role of Mommy or Daddy.. or a nurse when there is a boo-boo.
I am a mentor – trying to guide students to make the right decisions.. without making the decision for them.
I am an ear to listen.
I am a great big hug with a celebration of success.
And a great big hug.. when the tears are falling and the world just doesn’t seem right.
And it is on tough days like today – when I feel like everything that I have done comes unraveled.. I must accept that I am not a savior. I am not a miracle worker. While I would love to move mountains.. that just isn’t going to happen. It is tough to swallow.. and makes days like today extremley frustrating.
But I must not lose hope. Because what I am doing is important. And I am making a difference in each of these children’s lives. A big difference. Tomorrow is another day.. and it will be a better day.
I really needed to get that down in writing. Because I needed a pep talk.. I needed to reaffirm. And, well.. blogging was my outlet today. Thanks for reading my ramblings 🙂
After a stressful day at school – I knew a run just wasn’t in the books. However – what I could really benefit from.. is some yoga. At home style. I headed on over the Exercise TV – and did a little yoga sculpt. (Where do you get your at home yoga from??)
It was just what I needed. And it certainly left me feeling refreshed. Lifting my mood just a tad.
Justin whipped up some sweet and sour chicken for dinner (meaning I had to do NOTHING)… my mood was lifted a tad more.
I took a look through the mail.. and noticed a REWARDS certificate.. from DSW… that I can combine with my OTHER rewards certificate…
Lifting my mood even more. I mean.. who wouldn’t feel giddy inside with $30 worth of coupons to DSW.
And I am relaxing tonight.. knowing that tomorrow.. my studnets are in for a treat. A field trip.
To an aquarium… and a viewing of an IMAX film. Experiences that some of my students might not have if it weren’t for field trips. Tomorrow – I will see those smiling faces.. the looks of awe and innocence as they experience new and exciting things.
Their radiance and excitement for learning.. will shine.
And so will I.