Wow. It is hard to believe that just one month ago.. I sat on the same exact couch that I am sitting on now.. making that final decision to actually make a blog. And what an amazing month it as been. I could not be anymore grateful – and proud of myself for entering the blog world.
I had been tinkering with the idea of creating a blog since before the new year – but always came up with a reason why it was not a good time.
Reason? Not so much. More like… Excuses.
Maybe not even excuses. To be honest, it was fear that held me back.
Fear of having a dud of a blog. I am a perfectionist – so there was no way that I wanted a blog that failed. If I was going to share my story, my life, I wanted people to read it and to find it interesting. Perhaps even find a little bit of inspiration from the jibber-jabber that I would type each day. If no one found what I had ot say to be interesting – or importat.. would that mean that I wasn’t important?
Yes – I know that this is a silly negative way of thinking – but I am being honest – and I was so scared of failing. Of starting something – and not finishing. That just isn’t my style.
Fear of finally sharing my struggles. I’ve kept my struggles with disordered eating pretty quiet. There were less then a handful of people who had any idea of what I had gone through – and even those people had only a small snapshot of the big picture.
Would letting the unknown.. become known.. change people’s opinion’s of me? Would they think less of me? How would this information effect the perfection that Justin and I share? Would he.. would my family.. feel betrayed for not being brought into the loop sooner?
Well – one day, I pretty much said to hell with this fear. And I dove in.. head first. It is something I wanted to do. For ME. If no one reads it.. so be it. I am still getting my thoughts out. I am still letting the demon that has been controlling my mind.. the secret that has been weighing me down like a ton of bricks… finally escape.
Well for one, Justin feels closer then ever to me now. He has a better understanding of who I am.. and it makes him get me.. why I do some of the things I do. Why I am so adament about keeping a healthy diet – and eating foods that are good for the mind, body and spirit. He understands why I like to stay fit – why it holds a great importance in my life.
It also allows him to kindly tell me – that maybe I need a rest day. My body will thank me for it. That indulgence is awesome in moderation. The extra support, and understanding I need.
My family? Well.. they are just in love with the blog. They read it often. Daily. Postly (is that a word?). Every time I call home.. my dad tells me how proud he is of me. And it feels good. It also is a great tool for them to keep up with my life! I talk to my mom every day – but I definitely don’t remember to tell her everything! Now she knows.
And the greatest thing that I have come to find – after putting my fears to the side – and embracing the world of BLOG is…
That this community of bloggers is the best support group a person can find. It may not be something I can physically go to – but time and time again – each of you have proven.. that you can bring a smile to my face during my days of stress.. of sadness. You make me feel proud of all that I do.
I feel more accountable for my actions – because after all.. I do report to you all at least once a day!
I really want to thank you.. for being such a welcoming group of gals (and guys).. and to show my appreciation.. Beyond Bananas is hosting its first GIVEAWAY!
I was so shocked of how many people never used/heard of PEANUT FLOUR.. so here is your chance to win a bag of your own!
The winner will receive a 1 lb pound of peanut flour (because after all.. I did get 6 lbs… and thats a damn lot of peanut flour.. and you guys are TOTALLY worth sharing with!)
There are 4 ways to enter:
- Comment on this post telling me what you would do with your peanut flour
- Follow Me on Twitter
- Tweet about my give away using: “@BeyondBananas1 is giving away Peanut Flour! http://wp.me/p1uCH2-hK “
- Link my giveaway in your blog!